What I Learned the Hard Way About Why Your Sales Copy Sounds Like a Robot And How to Fix It

Last Thursday at precisely 11:11 AM, I had a revelation that had nothing to do with making a wish—unless that wish was to stop writing sales copy that sounded like it was generated by a malfunctioning chatbot. (To be fair, it might've been *inspired* by one, given the number of repetitive platitudes involved.) There I was, staring at a sentence that began, "Leverage your synergistic solutions with unparalleled efficacy," when I knew: I had hit rock bottom. If I had a dime for every time I wrote "synergistic solutions," I'd have enough to buy a thesaurus. Seriously. Desperation led to a caffeine-fueled experiment: rewriting sales emails as though I were chatting with a friend at a bar, comfortably nestled between a beer and a bowl of peanuts. Why not? Clearly, the corporate-speak wasn't cutting it. So, I ditched the jargon and went full-on conversational, throwing in some jokes and yes, even an emoji or two. Spoiler alert: It worked. Like, really worked. My click-through rate shot up from a measly 2% to a staggering 12%—a statistically significant improvement, even if I did have to explain to my boss why some customers replied with "LOL." Why did this seemingly reckless strategy (and borderline career gamble) actually work? Well, for starters, people don't like to be talked at—they like to be talked with. Sales emails that read like a brochure are about as engaging as watching paint dry. But when your emails are personal, genuine, and maybe a little quirky, you create a connection. And connections lead to clicks. It's like dating, but with fewer awkward silences and more strategic calls to action. (Okay, maybe it's exactly like dating.) So, how can you apply this life-changing realization to your own sales copy woes? Start by picturing your ideal customer. Now imagine you're telling them a story—not selling them something, just sharing a little anecdote that magically leads to your product. Use real language, the kind you might use in a text. Drop the "solutions" and just offer help. And don’t be afraid to let your personality shine through. People buy from people, not faceless corporations. Unless they're really into that sort of thing. (No judgment.) Ready to dive in? Here's how to get started: 1. **Audit Your Existing Copy**: Go through your current sales emails and highlight every word you wouldn't use with a friend. Then, replace them with words you'd actually say out loud without cringing. 2. **Story Time**: Craft a simple story around your product. It doesn't have to be a bestseller; it just needs to illustrate a problem and how your product is the hero of the day. 3. **Get Feedback**: Send test emails to a small group and ask for honest feedback. If your readers aren't feeling the urge to reply with a meme, you've got some tweaking to do. And if you're still skeptical, consider this real-life testimonial from a fellow experimenter, my friend Jenny. She swapped out her robotic sales scripts for ones that were a bit more human. Her open rates improved by 50%, and her conversion rates doubled. Jenny, in her own words, "felt like a sales wizard, minus the wand and pointy hat." (Though let's be honest, a hat could only help.) Once you've mastered the basics, here are some advanced tips to take your sales copy to the next level: - **Use Humor Wisely**: A well-placed joke can do wonders, but don't force it. If you're not naturally funny (hey, it's a skill!), keep it light and relatable rather than trying to channel your inner stand-up comedian. - **Embrace Emojis**: They add personality and help convey tone, but use them sparingly. You want to enhance your message, not turn it into a guessing game of "What does that winking face mean?" - **Test, Test, Test**: A/B testing is your friend. Experiment with different tones, lengths, and styles to see what resonates best with your audience. If your sales copy currently sounds like it was written by a robot, don't fret. There's hope—and humor—ahead. Start by having a conversation, not a sales pitch, and watch your engagement soar. And, if you're feeling brave, maybe even try adding a "fun fact" section about yourself at the end. Just don't mention that time you accidentally emailed the CEO with a cat meme. (Not that I'd know anything about that.) Now go forth, and write like the human you are. Your sales, and your sanity, will thank you.